Author Archives: simply three cents

Ticket Taxes

If you bought an airline ticket before July 23, (the day Congress failed the FAA), and you traveled during the shutdown (which is expected to end soon), you are entitled to a tax refund.

I am one of those people. The two airlines I flew, are offering refunds, but you have to go through the IRS in order to collect. The IRS website currently says, “The IRS will provide further guidance on this issue in the near future.”

I’m sure this is going to be so easy. Note sarcasm.

I am a strong believer that I’m entitled to those funds because of the inept government, and I will take steps to collect. At check in, I decided to pay extra for a roomier seat. I figured that since I already spent the money on the ticket, and I am entitled to this refund, it should be put to good use.

I’m certain there will be a lot of money that will go uncollected. My question is … will the IRS tax the airlines on this income?


“Go. And go somewhere interesting.”

Nomadic Matt recently posted a terrific interview with Lonely Planet’s founder, Tony Wheeler.

My favorite part, Wheeler says “Go. And go somewhere interesting.”

What’s your guidebook of choice these days?

Personally, I love my dog-eared travel guides (and I do have my fair share of Lonely Planets!). They may be brand new when I set out but they are well-worn in when I return. They are bent and folded and maybe sometimes they got wet. They are worn in and have been written in with notes I took along the way.  There are notes, doodles and random lists of things to do and see. There are maps that locals draw in and recommendations from waiters. There are a few key local words and phrases scribbled down.

These guides serve as a reminder of where I’ve been and places where I’d like to return. They take up a good chunk of my bookcase. As weird as it may sound, I love them, like stamps in my passport, but instead of tucked away in a drawer, they’re on display in my living room.


WHY my hair?

Went through security at Fort Lauderdale International Airport the other day. I went through this new machine (at least I have never seen it) where you go in sideways and you have to raise your hands above your head and stand there for a few seconds without moving. If you move, you are pulled for a pat down. So I stood as still as I could.

I’m not sure they know how to use the machine because it got backed up a bit while they had to reset it. In order to keep the line moving they were directing certain people in my line to the regular machine. I was curious to see this crazy machine, I’ve seen a lot, but never this one, so I hoped I got to go through this particular line, and I did.

When I came out, I was pulled to the side, because apparently it takes another thirty seconds to get the result. My result was fine, except, the TSA agent had to go through my hair. Like a pat down of my hair? What could possibly be in there? The ponytail holder had no metal in it, and besides, my hair is usually up when I am at an airport anyway.

I didn’t ask because I was flabbergasted, but what could I possibly be hiding in my hair? I don’t even have big hair where you might be able to sneak something in it. Maybe it was so soft and luscious, the TSA agent just had to cop a feel.

WHY Wednesday


Wait for it

I work in a building that has a lot of revolving doors. Manual revolving doors. At least once a week, without fail, there’s some tourist who stands in the door. I have to assume they are waiting for it to move automatically.

It makes me chuckle every single time. And then I give it a swift push.


Making an awkward situation even more awkward

I admit I make grammar and spelling mistakes. But I also admit I am one of those people who circles errors in take out menus. There are more of us, I hope?

So the other day I was in a doctor’s office, and the name of the facility was spelled wrong on one of the five forms I had to fill out. So because I was terribly nervous, and clearly this is when I am a comedienne, I kindly told the receptionist that the facility was spelled wrong. Not so quick on the uptake, she replied ‘That is the name of our facility.’

I replied, ‘It is but it is missing the letter c’ – and then, because now I couldn’t stop making an awkward moment even more awkward at this point, I pointed to the correctly spelled form to show her the difference on the incorrect form (Yes, I really did this and thankfully the waiting room was empty). She said ‘Oh’ and clearly didn’t care at all.

To lighten the mood (the extremely awkward mood I had just created) I told her that I am, in fact, someone who circles typos in take out menus so don’t worry about me finding a typo. I said something along the lines of, I’m sure most people don’t notice. I think this made it a little more awkward and finally secured my spot in the ‘She’s a wacko’ file. I was super nice and friendly to offset the freak factor so hopefully I am not totally written off as some kind of proofreading lunatic.


“Just a peaceful, easy feeling”

Spent the day at the beach on Saturday.

The ocean air smells better, and feels good too. We spent the day people watching and feeling the sea breeze.

We were not proper beach-bound (I can’t ask an 81 year old to walk on the sand when she can’t manage that well on regular land) but I did get my feet in the water and walked in the sand.

The ocean had four shades of blue. There were few clouds in the sky.

It was nice and sunny and hot but once we got close to the sea, the heat lifted and the cool breezes surrounded us.

I wish sand castles were real because I would choose to live in one. Except during Florida’s hurricane season.


A is not for aisle (seat)

All the people jockeying for seat changes at the gate cracked me up.

I had noticed an old man asking for an upgrade, a family with kids, and a couple all asking at the gate.

I had originally booked a middle seat which was the only thing available. I love window seats as close to the front of the plane as possible. When I checked in 24 hours before my flight, I was able to score 10A. Upon arriving at the airport, I checked at the kiosk one last time, and 6A was open for the taking. Perfect! I only had a carry-on and I was so close to the front of the plane so I knew I would be waiting at the curb for my ride very soon after I landed.

I arrived at my row and this guy who was part of the couple asking at the gate was in my seat. Lets take a step back for a second. I had seen the woman in first class on my trek back to 6A. When I told him he was in my seat, this guy, a well dressed professional, said “you have 6A?” I said “yes, A is the window.” He looked at his ticket and I just looked at him. He said “are you sure?” I said “yes, I’m certain.” Now I was getting annoyed. Clearly he wasn’t happy with his seat in the first place since he was at the gate prior to boarding but seriously? My ticket is right, you know it, and you are going to act like I am in the wrong? No sir.

The next part happened in what seemed like slow motion. He had already made himself at home in my seat, so resentfully closed up his half eaten sandwich and moved it to the middle tray, put his (read: my) tray table up and closed his laptop. After what seemed like an eternity he stood up and sighed. As if it were any consolation I said “the woman at the gate said the middle is going to be empty.” (which he already knew because his wife was living large in first class. He then mosied into the aisle so I could get to MY window seat. And the kicker, when this guy stood up, he had to be nearly six feet tall. In what world is the window seat comfortable for him? I just hate getting hit by the stupid drink carts, and I like controlling the window shades and I also like having a place to rest my head should I want to nap.

Then, throughout the flight, his actions let me know he was a frequent traveler with his Bose noise cancelling headphones, and the research for paving stones and backyard lighting (yes, I am that nosy) he was doing on his laptop. He was also looking at patient medical records and typing up notes (this was not me being nosy so much as all of the paperwork was sprawled out on the middle seat and tray table). Not sure what he was doing but I have to assume that he wasn’t an idiot, or a new traveler.

So yes, sir, on our plane, 6C was in fact an aisle. 6A was the window. On a flight with three seats on each side of the aisle, A and F are those coveted seats.

Where do you like to sit on a plane? Have you ever sat in another seat waiting to see if anyone would call you on it? Do tell in the comments below.


Surprise!

I absolutely love surprises. But I’m never usually the surprisee. More often than not, I am the surpriser.

Surprise success yet again! I made it to Florida and was able to surprise my grandma for the weekend. I never tell her when I am coming and I’ve done these surprise trips for what seems like a billion times. I am pretty sure she has caught on by now – especially when I show up near her birthday or a few times for Mother’s Day – but the surprise is just so.much.fun.

I do realize that surprising an 80-year-old woman is probably not the best idea but she is usually sitting down when I surprise her. She is going to be 81 on Sunday and aren’t birthdays about celebrating with the ones you love?


The one with the bar stools and the wine flights

Is this a sign we travel a lot?

Memorial Day weekend…At JFK for our flight…the boyfriend wants to go to wine bar we love. After walking around the entire JetBlue terminal…with me confused, because the food places are pretty much all in one spot, the boyfriend describes the wine bar…and I realize it’s in Newark at the Continental terminal. And I tell him that.

He busts out laughing, as do I. Then, with my eye on the restaurants, I steer us that way to let him decide his back up choice pre-flight, at JFK.

Oops. At least we were at the right airport for our flight.


WHY

Diplomatic immunity.

I’m no expert but why should they be extended privileges we common folk aren’t? As in parking a car with diplomat license plates on the sidewalk in Manhattan. It was on a block lined with shops and restaurants, so there seemed to be no good reason. Unless there was.

WHY Wednesday.