For some reason I have been taking the subway more often lately. I forgot how amusing it can be down there. When cramming people into a car that travels underground, there are bound to be irritants — and I’m not just talking about the engines.

• Loud music. Why do I have to hear what you are listening to?
• People who won’t give up their seat for pregnant ladies and the elderly.
• People who spread their legs taking up additional seats for said pregnant ladies and elderly people.
• People with a ridiculous amount of luggage – it would be so much easier for you to take a cab.
• The gooey liquid dripping from the ceilings of subway stations and the puddles they form on the ground colored with rust and whatever other gross liquids.
• People who use the emergency exit door to make the alarm go off.
• People who talk on the phone just as they are walking into the subway – um, hello: there is NO cell service down there.
• Rude ticket agents. Why do you get to be rude AND keep your job?
• People who lean on poles. Why does your whole body have to take up the pole when I just want to hold it. The pole. Not your body.
• People who don’t move into the train car. If you want to stand next to the door, get off the train and be the last one to get back on
• People that carry backpacks on their backs instead of carrying it at a lower level
• People who stand and don’t realize where their bags are in relation to a sitting persons head

I’m sure I’m missing loads. What’s your biggest subway gripe?

I have mentioned before that I am not a fan of golf umbrellas.

I have had to duck more times than I can count. I can’t stand when people hold their umbrella like a spear with no regard for anyone around them.

I always wondered why people kept it up when there was just a drizzle (will they melt if they get wet?) or as they walk under covered buildings, or under scaffolding – where clearly there is already a shortage of personal space.

I bought a golf umbrella, in the shop where I took golf lessons. Note 1: I totally believe that golf umbrellas belong on a golf course.

But as there are more and more golf umbrellas on the streets of Manhattan, I decided to join in to increase my personal space. BUT I will only carry it if it is pouring when I leave my home in the morning. If there’s just a chance of rain, or it hasn’t started, I will bring a normal umbrella. The golf one depends on the timing of when I leave my apartment. It’s not used for just any rainy day.

When I am walking past people taller than me (more likely the case than not) I adjust the height of my umbrella accordingly as to not hit their (more likely the case than not) golf umbrella. Far too many douches with golf umbrellas have no regard for where there points pieces of their umbrella will go…in my face usually.

I noticed there are so many people who simply do not pay attention to where there umbrellas are pointing, or where they are walking.

So as I was recently walking with a co-worker, under my golf umbrella, we noticed two women walking with the umbrella opened like a shield but we could clearly tell they were not looking were they were walking. So, with my golf umbrella I merely tapped their umbrella. I felt that my move reminded them to pay attention.

Uh oh. Does this make me a douche with the golf umbrella?

Me thinks it may be time to get the heck out of NYC 😉

I went to the eye doctor this week for a routine exam. Wouldn’t you know later that day, back at my desk, I hit myself straight in the eye with my phone cord. And this is my luck.